By Carmen Liu.
Good morning/afternoon my diamonds or anything that makes you bright because everyone deserves to shine in life ❤
How should I start? I feel nervous to write again and publish it to society.
I didn’t think I would have to write again. Sometimes I will write something short to release my emotions. I am starting to think that I like to write because it makes me feel better rather than telling the story to someone. I prefer to have my friends read my feelings or my stories than actually telling them. I get so anxious expressing myself. I don’t know why. It is hard for me to demonstrate my feelings. I feel that either I am very emotional or cold (zero emotions). I can’t be in between, which is why I have relied on writing.
So, the reason I am writing again is for a friend’s blog.
A few weeks ago, a friend of mine asked me a favor. She wanted me to write about the topic that I just mentioned here. First of all, I am happy for her because she has come a long way until now, plus I am so proud of her for helping others spread their skills. I also thank her for believing in me. Cheers to her!
Okay! Back to the main topic, I honestly don’t know where to start. I was going through a hard time and decided to write about my feelings, just for myself, but ended up posting them on Medium. I never thought about sharing the chapters on social media because it was more of a therapy period to heal myself than anything else. I shared several chapters with my roommate and she loved it. She encouraged me to publish them. I thought that was insane because I couldn’t do it. They are my thoughts, and, even though, I don’t mention any names, it is obvious who I am talking about. After a while, I realized that it might help people to understand me better.
I started to think differently. I am still scared to show the real me. It is not that I don’t want to. I just can’t. I am scared. I am usually a very quiet girl. When I am mad or dislike something, I don’t say much. Finally, I got tired of that because people would take advantage of me. They would always be like “ Oh! Carmen won’t get mad at us. She is so chill or Oh! Carmen is such a nice girl, she will understand”. I am sorry, but even the nicest person can get mad and dislike things.
That has to change because I am sick of it. I have emotions. I felt that I was a ticking bomb. I have two reasons to why I am publishing this book. The first one is for people to understand me and the second one is to help others.
I just want to let others know that they are not alone if they are going through something similar. I was very afraid to share these thoughts as anyone would be because no one wants to feel judged in a negative way. I am not trying to attract attention from anyone. Right now, I feel very grateful for any kind of feedback. I feel that there is no such thing as negative or positive feedback. It is how I look at it that matters. I will really appreciate it a lot. Thank you in advance!
Many of you wondered what happened after I released the chapters. I got a huge amount of support and love from everyone. I was shocked honestly. I felt happy because it didn’t feel forced. Each message and feedback was sincere and genuine.
It even helped some people such as my best friend. This will sound very ironic, but he hasn’t finished reading it. I gave him a summary of everything, but he knows me since, like, always; we are like twins. He told me that what I did inspired him to open up more to others. He wants to be able to chase happiness for himself. I am currently helping him and he is doing very well. Sometimes, he will fall down, but that’s okay. I have breakdowns too. We are not perfect, but “hey, A for effort”.
And lastly, I would like to share a great example of a group of people that can relate to this topic. Not many of you might agree with me, but it motivated me to finally share the book. Celebrities are my inspiration. I feel that they are the bravest people in front of society. They are always under the spotlight. They always have to face harsh situations and they are not trained to face them. They are doing their jobs. They have a life just like any human being on earth.
I admire them because they always have to put up with the negative comments. The public eye is constantly trying to come up with drama to attract more cash, which I understand because it is a job too. Most of the times, celebrities have to pretend that they are okay in front of their fans, even if that day was the worst day ever. Many of them have to speak up because some situations have reached the point that shows that humans can be cruel.
The world needs to chill. Everyone should focus on themselves rather than others.
I just want to let the world know that we are all aware that we make mistakes, but if you want others to be nice to you, then be nice to others too. Karma exists and your actions speak for your results in life.
Thank you and always love yourself before you love others.
No Filter — Carmen Liu
Medium Link: https://medium.com/@carmenliu
Facebook Page Link: https://www.facebook.com/nofilter17/